Shame. We’ve all felt it. Whether it’s been put onto us by others or felt it ourselves and it’s not a comfortable or fun feeling. Shame is honestly one of the best working devices I’ve seen- it does it’s job so well. We feel it and we want to hide. Hide what we’ve been doing, hide what we’ve been thinking, hide what happened to us, hide how we felt.

If there’s the perfect breeding environment for shame; it’s secrecy. Brene Brown talks of how shame grows in secrecy and silence. The thing about shame is that is all it makes us want to do! Hide and not tell anyone.

I wonder what feeling shame has made you conceal in your life before? Or maybe you’re currently hiding in what feels like overwhelming shame to the point that you’re avoiding lots of things that might reveal the secret.

It’s not an easy thing to battle. If we’re hiding in shame, there’s usually a reason. A consequence, a difficult conversation, a new reality, a painful journey, a life change or sometimes it’s less serious with a moment of embarrassment to walk through.

Shame can stop us having important conversations with our children about the effects of porn. Shame can stop us talking about our sex life with our husband or wife. Shame can put a barrier in our intimacy with our partner and friends (because if they knew… it would change everything). Shame stops us admitting we have a problem or addiction.

Shame tells us that we are beyond help, beyond repair, damaged goods, not worthy.

Life isn’t care-free and without consequence. The feeling of shame can be a helpful guide to tell us something doesn’t feel right. But it’s not a place to live.

Psalm 103:10 speaks of how we have a forgiving God. The best way to start to remove shame that is stopping us from experiencing intimacy not only with those we love, but God is to repent. Bring it to God.

When we remember that God cared enough for us to die. We can start to get over ourselves and shame enough to speak to Him about it.

God will meet you and that’s where shame goes to die.

Yes, it’s difficult speaking with people you love about deeply hurtful, painful and embarrassing things. Yes, there’s likely consequences or important conversations to navigate. Yes, it’s worth doing to reach out and find a new or renewed level of intimacy.

Don’t let shame win your conversations today.